Free Food, Ageing and Why I Should Get A Hobby.

This time next week I will be 22. Officially old. I decided a couple weeks ago that I wanted a tatoo as my present to myself. Pretty much decided on a phoenix but haven't found quite the right iage yet. Not been doing much the last week or so. Been very tired. Highlights have been getting £70 of free grocerys from Asda. They messed up by first cancelling my fortnightly grocerys, then not telling me they had cancelled, then delivering most of it. When I called them up to find out why there items missing they realized their mistake but said I could just keep what had been delivered – for free. Very cool. Food tastes all the better when you havent had to pay for it. :) Of course this being me all I can think is that I should have ordered twice as much! Saw Inglorious Basterds at the cinema. Very cool movie, lots of beautiful moments that I want to turn into posters and wallpaper my flat with. About ¾ of it was sub titled though. Amazed how much of the french I understood though. Perhaps I should try and learn it again? Half of french is just english words in a french accent – well I suppose half of english is french words in an english accent but you know what I mean. Still unemployed. Have totally given up on college for this year anyway. Anyway it looks like education is the biggest waste of time since tetris was invented so I'm just hoping I can finally find a job – for my own sanity at least. There's only so much tv I can watch before my brain starts to leak out my ears.

Well That Went Well

For some mad reason yesterday I looked up what was available in Clearing in Glasgow. I know I'm not qualified but thought 'hey maybe this close to start of term some one will be desperate to fill a place'. Saw a Bed primary teaching course at Glasgow Caledonian and emailed the contact link on the details. Was asking her if I might be qualified but when I told her the qualifications I had were gained in the east of Scotland she just tells me 'Newbattle Abbey College comes under Swap East and we would not recognise this.' Apparently my qualifications dont mean squat cos they were gained in the wrong part of Scotland. I'v had a creeping feeling over the last few months that I may have wasted an entire year of my life and I would say this confirms it. I had the most miserable year of my life at college. More unhappy than anyone could have imagined. I gave up everything I had. It may not have been much to most people but I was the closest thing I'd ever been to happy. Everything I had is gone now because I had to take some stupid chance to make my life better. I thought I could have a nice paying job, an education and a normal life. Its all gone wrong and turned out to be a nightmare. A year of my life gone and nothing to show for it. Now I'm in hundreds of pounds of debt, back to applying for cleaning jobs and admin positions that I only get considered for because I'm disabled. I can't even work in Macdonalds. I have no idea what to do. I just want to move on and forget I ever went to college. Unless someone invents a time machine and can go back a year, make sure I never hear of Newbattle Abbey. If they have make sure of it by pushing me under a bus that's fine with me.

hyper at 7am

So the last week. Well I saw the new Harry Potter – I may be slightly in love with Bellatrix Lestrange. Seriously. She is now the screensaver on my laptop. Great movie but I really coulda done without the rude people in the cinema who seemed to think they were in their own living rooms. A woman a seat away from me was taking food out of a plastic bag, noisily opening its plstic wrappers, munching, then dropping the empty packs on the floor where her feet would rustle them everytime she moved. Some people should just get a trough – it would be quieter at least. The guy a few rows behind us was pretty bad too – talked pretty much through the entire movie, people shushed him a few times but he just carried on. It was so annoying – he was far back enough I couldnt even hear what he was talking about. He could have been making some interesting observations on the books transition to the movies for all I know – but instead all I get is that annoying mumbling sound. On the way home I got a rather unexpected call from someone I hoped to never hear from again. Was so unexpected I swore, loudly, on public transport. Rather embarrasing. Got off at the next stop. The job centre sent me shopping for interview clothes this week. The deal is that they give me an allowance (£130 in this case) and a form for the shop to invoice them for the clothes and I get smart clothes for job interviews. I get a choice of shops including the ones in the Arcadia group. That group contains Burton which has a lot of clothes I love. So when the woman at the job centre asks which store im going to I say i'd like the form for Arcadia cos im going to Burton. She gets all flustered 'why there, you know its all mens clothes there?' 'usually when we do this men go to the mens shops and woman go to the womans shops' etc I explain I dont really wear womans clothes. She looks more uncomfortable. She insists I take the full list of the shops in the Arcadia group with me apparently so 'no one can say I didnt tell you about the others'. It was rather funny. I was a little worried half way through that she wasnt going to give me the forms unless I agreed to buy womans clothes but she did so im happy. And I got some stuff I actually like. Saw some jeans there I could wear too. Might order from them online (I have a feeling theyr not going to let me in the changing rooms) figure its time to lose the skate jeans. Im not 15 anymore. Sigh. Oooh. In other good things – Dominos have garlic butter as an topping option on their pizzas. There is no better pizza than no cheese, garlic butter, jalapenos, tandoori chicken, herbs and green peppers with the garlic and herb dip. I could roll in it. right now I probably smell like I have. I should probably open the windows – smells like im trying to ward off a vampire in here.

I Knew There Was Something I Meant To Do.

Yeah. I pretty much abandoned this like 6 weeks ago. Well obviously no more college HURRAH!! Got a cute little studio/bedsit place in Glasgow which I love so much I could just kiss the walls. Really skint though. Been paying rent on credit card and overdraft. Benifits still havent processed everything 6 weeks after my paperwork went in. Not having any luck finding a job - not even getting interviews for anything. Few weeks ago Macdonalds turned me down without even an interview so I'm currently sulking and applying to colleges. Applying for lots of Social Care, Social Work, Learning Support HNC's and hoping to get on some other work placement project that would train me in admin in a housing agency office. Other than that I am becoming a Neopets geek (KeyQuest addict) and eating the worlds supply of yoghurt.